Chapter 34: I am Zhang Sanfeng, what is your business?

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This was an exceedingly ramshackle room.

It looked like a woodshed slapped together from thatch, only even more dilapidated and desolate. It was so utterly empty that even a thief who broke in would probably have to leave a hundred yuan behind in tears, begging its occupant to take good care of himself.

There were two holes in the ceiling overhead, and the icy wind whistled through them, chilling one to the bone.

The entire shed contained nothing but a bed made of bare planks, a chair missing half a leg, a filthy chipped bowl and a pair of chopsticks. Apart from those, there was only half a steamed bun soaking in water until it had turned sticky and mushy.

“This can’t be my home, can it? Am I an orphan, or some kind of limbless idiot?” Wu Wang frowned in confusion.

Judging from the dungeon’s introduction, this village might have been somewhat isolated from the outside world, but its people should at least have had enough food and drink. So how had his situation turned into one where even cats and dogs despised him?

Even an orphan shouldn’t have lived this miserably!

“Knock, knock, knock—”

A hurried pounding came from the door.

Wu Wang turned to look at the thing that seemed liable to collapse at any moment. In reality, it was nothing more than a wooden plank propped upright and tied in place with rusty wire.

“Second Baby Zhang! Come out and eat!”

A gruff middle-aged woman’s voice came from outside.

Without waiting to see whether Wu Wang agreed, she grabbed the plank and shoved it open.

Seeing the frail young man sitting on the one-legged chair, just about to bite into the waterlogged steamed bun, the woman knitted her brows and scolded him irritably, “I’ve told you over and over again, you can’t eat dirty things! Don’t you understand?”

As she spoke, she stepped forward and slapped the bun from Wu Wang’s hand.

Then she pulled two loaves of bread from the bag she was carrying. She even carefully tore off the wrappers before handing them over, as though she were afraid he would eat the packaging and preservatives along with the bread.

Wu Wang was almost laughing from sheer exasperation.

For fuck’s sake, do they really think I’m a moron?

“Poor child. You’re so young, your parents are gone, and you’ve come down with a madness that leaves you unable to care for yourself. What a miserable little thing,” the woman said, looking at Wu Wang with pity.

“?”

Wait, am I actually insane?

Wu Wang froze.

No wonder the room looked so broken-down and didn’t even have any furniture. So this really was the residence of a lunatic.

An orphan, a madman, and a backward village.

Brother, this buff is fully stacked.

“Auntie, what’s my name?” Wu Wang quickly adapted to her accent and asked in slightly awkward local speech.

The moment he said this, the woman looked even more helpless.

She had never imagined that the child couldn’t even remember his own name. His madness must be getting worse and worse.

It was all the fault of his parents, who had died so young. Why had they given the child such a name?

“Your name is Zhang Sanfeng, and your nickname is Second Baby. Hmm… where did you get this mushroom?” the woman asked, suddenly pausing midway through the conversation.

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She had noticed a mushroom lying on the otherwise empty bed. It had even been tucked carefully beneath the quilt, as though someone were afraid it might catch cold.

As she spoke, she reached out to take it.

But Wu Wang suddenly sprang to the window and glared at her viciously. Drool ran from the corner of his mouth, his eyes were bloodshot, and he waved his hands like a wild beast.

“I picked it up! I figured nobody wanted it!”

“Don’t touch my stuff!”

“Otherwise, don’t blame me, Zhang Sanfeng, for upholding justice even against my own family!”

The woman was startled by his appearance.

But with his status as a madman, she was already accustomed to such inexplicable behavior.

When speaking to someone who had gone insane, one had to agree with whatever they said and avoid confrontation. Otherwise, a lunatic might truly fight you to the death.

The woman merely glanced at the species of mushroom. Seeing that it was not poisonous, she breathed a sigh of relief.

“All right, all right, I won’t touch it. I have something else to do, so I’ll be off. I’ll come back tonight, unlock the door, and take you to the square for the banquet.”

With that, she rose and walked out of the room.

As the wooden plank was dragged shut with a loud clang, Wu Wang heard the harsh scrape of a chain sliding into place outside. He immediately understood.

So this character had been locked inside the thatched woodshed the entire time!

No wonder there was nothing inside.

They were probably afraid Zhang Sanfeng would hurt himself.

A moment later, he heard voices outside. It seemed the woman was speaking with someone.

“That dead lunatic won’t live past the Grand Sacrifice anyway. Why are you still fussing over him?” a man said impatiently.

The woman replied, “His parents treated our family well when they were alive. Now there’s only the child left. With just three days to go, we can’t let him die of hunger, can we?”

What the hell?

The man had opened his mouth by predicting that I would die three days from now.

You two aren’t villagers!

You’re practically the Black and White Impermanence!

“And you have the nerve to criticize me? Yesterday, who was it that deliberately failed to lock the door properly? Weren’t you hoping he’d escape? In the end, the child had never left the village in his entire life. With his madness, all he did was run up the mountain, pick a mushroom, and come back,” the woman said helplessly.

“Hmph! I have no idea what you’re talking about!” the man grumbled as his voice faded into the distance.

The woman left as well.

Silence settled over the outside once more.

Wu Wang turned his head toward the young girl lying on the bed. The bizarre hat on her head looked exceptionally comical.

Mushroom Hat

Equipment Effect: When worn, remaining completely still while wearing this hat can rapidly erase your presence, making others think you are merely a harmless mushroom.

Description: I’m a mushroom. What are you?

This was spoils Wu Wang had looted from Earthly Pilgrim Sun. In his words: “I picked it up! I figured nobody wanted it!”

At first, the Mushroom Hat had seemed to bear a label reading “Contaminated.” But the moment Wu Wang took it in his hand, the Abyss God’s power stirred once again.

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After a pair of blood-red pupils stared at the Mushroom Hat for several seconds, the words “Contaminated” vanished.

Clearly, the so-called contamination had once again been devoured by the Abyss God’s mark.

Come to think of it, it was fortunate that he had acted quickly.

Otherwise, once the woman discovered the girl, who knew whether she would drag her away and make her some kind of saintess.

“Hiss… that hurts, that hurts…”

The girl rubbed her head and opened her eyes groggily. The first thing she saw was a filthy little beggar sitting beside her, the grime on his face so thick that it nearly obscured his features.

Only his eyes were astonishingly bright.

Oh, and his teeth too… He was grinning like he was having the time of his life.

Under normal circumstances, anyone who woke from unconsciousness to find such a person sitting beside them would probably panic.

Yet she did not.

She merely asked in confusion, “Who are you?”

“Heh heh heh! Since you’ve asked so sincerely—” Wu Wang began, intending to launch into the Rocket Team’s usual introduction. “I am—”

“James?” the girl suddenly cut in.

“Uh…”

That name completely shattered the mood Wu Wang had carefully built up.

A trace of astonishment rose in his heart.

Wait a moment! How did this person know the name of an anime character from the real world?

“No! I am a Taoist who neither changes his name nor alters his surname—Zhang Sanfeng! And what might your name be, young lady? How may I be of assistance?” Wu Wang had weathered countless storms in his life.

Even though this dungeon was strange in every possible way, his manner of conducting himself remained unchanged.

That was the confidence the Abyss God had given him!

“My name… I… I can’t remember. My head feels a little muddled right now.” The girl rubbed the back of her head, where there was a hideous wound.

Clearly, before Zhang Sanfeng discovered her, she had fallen and struck her head, causing her to collapse unconscious in the mountains.

But when Wu Wang saw the wound, which had only just scabbed over and still bore traces of blood, the expression on his face changed unnaturally.

Because he remembered clearly.

Wu Xiaoyou had a wound on the back of her head too!

The only difference was—

This wound was fresh and still bleeding, whereas his second sister’s had been inflicted five years ago and was an old injury.

Come to think of it… although this girl looked exactly like Wu Xiaoyou, she seemed younger around the eyes and brows.

“Damn it! This dungeon can’t possibly be…”